Sunday, 1 November 2009

Obituary: D.Monic. The end of an era.

I'm going to tell you a story. It is not a new story, it will have been told thousands of times before, this is simply my variation of it.

This is the story of a band that for 12 years played a big role in my life. Last night it came to an end. As those of us involved stand on the precipice of turning 30, the death of D.Monic symbolised the cutting of the last point of contact with our youth. Now there is no choice but become 'grown-ups'. Today is a sad day, I am full of reflection for a period of my life that was the making, breaking and remaking of me.

All bands have crazy politics and drama, it goes with the territory. D.Monic had it in abundance, unfairly so. I'm a scorpio, so I hold grudges. I still hold grudges for the way this band was treated by certain people 10 years ago, so it is fair to say that the actions of some just over a year ago, have set in motion a grudge that is still in it's bitter, early stages. I could use this blog to name names, point fingers and generally bitch it out, but I won't. If this blog gets to those involved, they will know who they are. That said, I'm spiteful and vindictive, so I hope that upon reading this, they remember the great times, and feel like shit.


This is me at 16. A few days into college, fresh out of a posh, pressure cooker high school. A total outcast, up until this point I was the only metaller I knew. Of course, in college, that was never going to last long. A few months later I had met some other metallers and was part of a 'group'. A bunch of teenagers who listened to Kurt Cobain sing, "Our little group has always been, and always will until the end" and knew those words really meant something.

At the centre of our group was a band, there had to be a band, that's how these things work, you're a teenager, you listen to rock/metal, so you're either in or know a band. Our band was called (at the time) Peroxide, they had a few songs, but didn't gig yet. The singer, Barry, and I were very similar people, before long we became best friends and not long after that we were a couple. He the frontman, me the aspiring photographer, I was painfully aware of the cliche!

Me and Barry at Ozzfest '98

Playing The Walthamstow Standard circa 1999

So drama, politics a new, better bassist and a year or so later, and Peroxide, now called D.V.8 were playing their first proper shows. I remember feeling so proud, all my friends up there, making everyone in the crowd so happy. I felt that same pride last night. The gigs were great, and the more they played, the better they got. Personally, it was a great place for me to practise shooting live shows, I developed quite a folio and understanding of light which helped get me a job at Kerrang! Magazine. Kerrang! liked D.V.8 or as they were about to become known, D.Monic, the ladies of Kerrang! liked Barry in particular, even making him their poster boy for an article. They were the band that should have been, all the opportunities were there, as was the skill and the image. Looking back, I feel very frustrated, I imagine I'm not the only one. I guess somethings are not meant to be, however perfect they may seem at the time.

Barry and I broke up after 7 years, like all great frontmen, he felt the need to self-destruct on a sizable scale. Despite playing the dutiful girlfriend, all the support in the world would not have stopped him from doing what he felt he had to do. I couldn't stand the majority of the people who were hanging around him, I didn't recognise the person he had become, so for me "Our little group has always been, and always will until the end" ended.

The strangest thing is, no matter how worried and bitter I felt about Barry, I still had as much love for D.Monic as I ever did. For the 7 years we were together, I put everything into that band, blood sweat and tears, literally. Even during that short period when Barry and I were not talking (we are close friends again and he is back to being as near to normal as he/everyone would like to be), I would protect D.Monic ferociously if anyone knocked them in an attempt to side with me. D.Monic was my youth encapsulated in one band. If you said anything about D.Monic, you were saying something about me, and I still stand by that. The bad times made us stronger and the great times brought us closer together. Those who fell along the way, either by choice or manipulation, have only served to show that those who will continue to be there now this journey is over, are better people, better friends. True friends.

My Brother Nicholas, Me and Barry - Halloween 2001

My Brother Nicholas, Me and Barry - Halloween 2009

No band lasts forever, not even the Rolling Stones. (Seriously, those guys died in the 80's, what you see are actually genetically modified prunes, animated via electric currents *BA BOOM CHISH!*) It is only a matter of when with most bands. Bands are just like families and take just as much work. Some fall apart when someone dies (Nirvana), some break up, exchange bitter words and then live with regret (Pantera) and some realise that they just can't do it forever, choose to go out on a high and leave the fans wanting more, that is what D.Monic did. I respect them, and especially Barry for being brave enough to make that decision, I know very well that it was not an easy one, but then, the right one so rarely is. It was time, as hard as it is, it was time.

Goodbye D.Monic, goodbye last link to our youth. Good and bad, laughter and tears, love, hate and everything in between. Whatever the emotion, I always felt it with a significant degree of passion. Thank you for making me feel alive. I will miss you very much.
Sweet Dreams.

'Embrace The Fallen' - 31/10/09

~~~~~ D.Monic was brought to you by... ~~~~~

Barry - Vocals / Guitar

Paul - Drums

Dan - Bass

Chris - Guitar

Photos by Me


  1. thank you.i dont know what more i can say.

  2. Thanks Natalie, what you have written about feeling like our youth ending that night was exactly how i was feeling in the build up to that final show, guess you know me better than we both thought. lol

    be seeing ya soon